I had written about something that went wrong in my last post. Now the getting away part.
After I had graduated college, I had moved to California. I got to visit here with my cousin at the age of 19 all summer and fell in love. I went back to finish school with the firm intent to move to California upon graduating. Luckily for me, I had two job offers.
Some 17 or 18 years later I was married. My cousin had married into a large family whom I had lived with a few months while apartment hunting a few years earlier. I had wanted my cousin to come for Thanksgiving but with her came all the in-laws, too.
I was having the clan over for Thanksgiving. In all, there would be 21 people. Our home couldn’t seat 21 at the dining room table but I had a table in the kitchen too. I created two beautiful tables and decided to buy two smaller turkeys, one for each table so each table had their own turkey.
It was easy to do because we have a professional two oven Wolf stove. I had most everything under control. I can’t remember why my sister’s in-laws had to stop by the house that day. They were picking up something to take to my sister’s in Ohio. When she saw that I had two turkeys, she was flabbergasted. She didn’t stop talking about this for years. She thought I was being over indulgent or something to that effect by having two turkeys. She never understood my reasoning of two smaller birds for one big bird. I rarely saw them so I chalked it up to weird people and moved forward with dinner.
This is where it got away from me. I forgot that my cousin’s mother-in-law did things without thinking of consequences or notifications. She brought an unexpected guest! And I had no place to put him and that was my undoing!
We got him a place to eat. We must have found a chair and squeezed him in. However, back then I was not the person I am today. Anger was my first, middle and last name. I angered easily and held on to it a long time and everyone knew it. I was angry and upset and I let it ruin my holiday. Somehow, we got through it all.
However, we never again had 21 over for Thanksgiving. Nowadays, I simply don’t want to do all that work. We either make a dish and go to where we are invited. Or we simplify the meal and make us a holiday dinner at home.
Holidays don’t hold the same panache for me anymore. I think any day you can have dinner with your loved ones is just as important, if not more so, as the legal holidays. It used to mean the world to me until circumstances took it away from us. That’s when I learned that your perspective on how you view situations, holidays, traditions, etc can make you happy or miserable. I chose to be happy.
How about you? How do you feel if you must have a holiday dinner alone or with your loved one only? How do you feel about all the hype about gathering together to celebrate that is shouted from radio, tv, print and internet?