We live up the hill behind the baseball diamonds of a high school. We’ve been here a long time and experienced things we’ve liked and things we haven’t. The noise from the games, stadium floodlights flooding our house, damaged mailboxes, empty beer cans in yards (don’t they know to recycle cans? Oh, yes, best not to take home beer cans!), cars blocking our driveway. We’ve watched things get cleaned up, we’ve seen stadium floodlights redirected, mailboxes now intact, and no more beer cans. We also lost the dog turf when they put in artificial turf (we always cleaned up after our girls!)
But in the last few years, we’ve had another set of problems:
#1 The school engineered a blockade of a main thoroughfare of this city with a misleading campaign. This road intersects the school between the sporting facilities and the main campus.
#2 A link chain was installed across our street because the first blockade sent people racing up our narrow windy streets at unsafe speeds because they must detour.
#3 Street signs saying our street is closed from 7:30am-4:30pm (confusing to new visitors)
#4 Cars stopping in the middle of the only street into our neighborhood to pick up or drop off kids, holding up traffic.
#5 really got the neighbors upset. Without notification or approval from any of us, the school installed large iron gates across our street where the link chain had been. It’s huge, ugly and makes us look like we are in an armed camp. They pushed the curb back to install this unsightly mass of swinging gatehood.
All of this is coming up right now because the school year has begun and I’m faced with some of life’s irritations regarding the school, our neighborhood and our streets. It’s an old neighborhood with vintage light poles and we love it. We dislike having to drive out of our way to get to our home or being held up by inconsiderate people who thinks it’s perfectly okay to stop traffic to load or unload passengers.
I’ve decided to put my camera to use. I’m going to take a photo of the car and the license plate and send it to the city and the police. If that doesn’t work, I’ll come up with another plan.
And at the same time, I wonder why I’ve attracted this situation into my life? What am I to learn from this situation? Slow down? What do you learn from life’s irritations in whatever form they come to you? I’d love to hear what you learn from these situations.
I’m a little surprised the school/city could install those gates with a neighborhood/community meeting. I can see why you don’t like them. As for people stopping off and dropping off kids, I don’t understand from what you’ve written where they would go or why they stop there. Sounds like poor communication between the school and the neighborhood.
That said, this is either going to be an irritation that grinds away at you or a motivation to some productive action. Not sure taking photos of a car will help–is it illegal to stop?–but you might be able to spearhead a meeting with the school and city regarding the gates or the impact on your street.
Hope you can get some resolution over time, but if not, then may you learn to breathe through this and not let the irritation get you down!
Judy Stone-Goldman
The Reflective Writer
http://www.thereflectivewriter.com/blog/
Personal-Professional Balance Through Writing
Most of the time I don’t let it get to me. It’s only when they stop and I’m stuck behind them. So you understand, the road into our neighborhood goes by the school. It’s one lane each way with parking on each side available. So drivers can’t find a spot to pullover and some are just too lazy to pullover so they stop in the middle of the moving lane. Is that illegal? Can you stop your car in the middle of a lane while cars normally move in that lane and there is no red light? Last I knew that could get you a ticket for obstructing the flow of traffic. maybe not. Maybe I should start doing that and tell the officers I learned it from the school kids parents? That’s when my temper starts heating up. And they now have signs that no parking on the street is allowed during the school hours so that gives them a place to park while they sit in the car waiting for their kids.
They do U turns on this narrow street for which both opposing lanes get stopped. It’s like they treat it as their own special driveway. Ok, time to start deep breathing. I know I’m to learn something from this but it’s alluding me big time! LOL!
I’m not actually picturing how that all works, but the gate IS ugly and I don’t get how it could be installed w/o community input. Every school we’ve been involved with Grade-Middle-High schools have all had their share of traffic problems. The Middle school was the best because there was a long drop-off area and there was ALWAYS an adult to direct the unloading, so people behaved, so I think that the neighborhood is not as impacted except maybe at events like graduation. At the grade school, there is not enough parking and it is off a narrow street, so traffic backs up as people wait to drive in to pick up. (I kick myself if I forget and go that way at the wrong time.) People park in restricted areas, double-park – no one can wait their turn. At the high school, because they are older, people will drop their kids off any which way, so you have to watch for cars AND kids. It is a pain for the street behind the school, where people like to “sneakily” drop off their kids at the “no parking” curb or block driveways on the opposite side – occasionally police are present and issue tickets. Hope there is an easy resolution for you.
We started screaming at the city when the street by the high school was blocked. If you saw our streets, you would horrified to know that people were driving through here at 40-50 mph. With cars parked on one side, you have room for cars to drive down one way. The only solution they could come up with was #2, the chain link fence. We complained bitterly but they never listened. It was horrible. We just gave up and lived with it. I’m wondering since they were replacing the chain link with this that they felt they didn’t have to bother talking to us. I know of one person who came by with a petition. It is so unsightly and it’s a constant reminder. If the school did anything to compensate by making sure our access to our homes was unencumbered or asked everyone to be considerate. The entitlement by school kids, the teachers and the parents is unending. But then I have an entitlement to wanting unfettered access to my street! So entitlement against entitlement never works!
Wow, I guess that is one of the negatives about living close to a school campus! But the iron gate is bizarre…hard to believe they could do this without some kind of community approval; if anything, I would hope that your irritations (which I am sure are shared by many of your neighbors) could lead to some kind of a dialogue with the school administrators and your city council. Sometimes I am not sure that irritations in our lives are there for a purpose so much; I think that some things are just irritating, period. But how we react to them is what makes the difference, I guess. We can either allow them to make us miserable, or act on changing something or learn to live with them. Often I think that it depends on just how much of an irritation something is and how it impacts your life. In your case, I think that gate is a pretty big irritation, so I hope something good will come from this!
Unfortunate situation! The school really should have asked the community for approval. When irritating situations find their way into my life I look at it from one perspective. Is the situation something I can change? – if yes, go on and bring about the change you need; if no; then don’t let the situation bother you, accept it as it is and move on. Not letting things get to me has helped cut out a lot of stress in my life!
Jaspreet Mundeir, ND
http://www.suratnaturopathic.com
I agree with you in all respects. I do normally deal with it. It’s just when I can’t move in a traffic lane because kids are being loaded or unloaded in a vehicle blocking traffic that I get upset and reminded why I dislike the closure. The thing is you have people with kids in school that simply don’t want to acknowledge that those of us without kids have some valid points. That makes it very hard.
I was awakened early on a Sunday morning a few weeks ago by a Very loud grinding sound. I live down the street by a DMV parking lot that had been full of beautiful trees—evergreens, eucalyptus. During the evenings and weekends, the lot serves as a kind of community gathering area where neighbors meet to throw balls for their dogs, chat about their kids, take in some fresh air and there is a weekly local Farmer’s Market. The awful grinding sound was workers cutting down and grinding these beautiful shade trees, an action the neighborhood has worked together to prevent several times over the last 10+ years I’ve lived here. It was a heart break to see, hear, feel and we are all only now beginning to organize to find out how this happened and what we can do to get the DMV to plant new trees. I can so relate to your story!
OH, I so get this too! They tore out all the ficus trees in downtown Ventura. They were so big and beautiful but they were ripping up the sidewalk. The city has recovered and it’s beautifully picturesque again. Growing pains are so hard. I still miss those trees.
I can really understand your being upset by such an eye-sore. It seems like inconsideration abounds in this situation. There doesn’t seem to be an respect for others being shown anywhere. It’s very frustrating.Not sure what the lesson is and sometimes when I’m faced with something so frustrating I don’t get to know the lesson right away. Often, it’s not until much later when I look back on it that I can see what I learned. Is there something here about the neighbors joining together, organizing?
Susan Berland
A Picture’s Worth
http://susan-berland.com
Thanks! Yes, time will show the lesson. I think most of us are still just reeling about it. We had no hint of it! Governments seem to think we don’t need to be consulted anymore.
My guttural and first reaction is I learned a long time ago that public schools think they can run one’s life without asking permission. But, don’t get me started on that… It sounds like you have committed yourself to a one-woman mission – can you enlist the neighbors’ help or is this only bothering you? It would irritate me to no end. Why has this come into your life? Because you are relentlessly powerful and persistent, that’s why and if anyone is going to change policy, it’s you. (that’s a compliment)
Maybe your lesson here is to not lie down and take it – who knows! I usually find the lesson presents itself later. I would find this a huge irritant and would be gathering the community to protest. The vehicles blocking traffic to drop kids off would drive me insane as I can’t even tolerate those parents who break the drop off and pick up rules within the school grounds! The gate is a real intrusion and liberty also. Have you tried speaking to the District Board? Our district has a Police Liason officer who we get out to police drop off and pick up periodically. Do you have an HOA? Can you tell we have a few issues in our neighborhood that we are trying to change – lol? Anyway, I would be fighting all this as far as I can. Persistence pays off with these things!
Louise Edington
Breaking Through Online Frontiers
http://louiseedington.com
Thanks @LouiseEdington:disqus I’m going to contact a woman I know who was getting signatures against this. My immediate neighbor left for the summer and instructed to get rid of that hideous thing before they got back! I’ll bug her when she returns.
I am going to play Devil’s Advocate here and say that in some bizarre way the school does “own” the area around school property. It is an extension of the school life, both convenient and annoying. If there is a negative impact from traffic or any other issue, the school will be liable. Makes sense that they can arbitrarily erect gates. For me the lesson would be to stop wasting time worrying about what people are doing outside. Who cares? There will always be annoyances. We can get more annoyed or we can let go. What is around is, is around us because we create that. I recently had an encounter with someone who was annoying me just by showing up. I had to take a step back and think about why I was being annoyed by someone who was not doing anything to me. I just thought they were. Turns out once I faced the idea, internalized it, I discovered that they were a messenger. With a powerful message. I got it loud and clear, and the person no longer annoyed me. I love how I feel about the situation now.
Jennifer DucheneThe Home Makeover Mixtress blending lifestyle, laughter and Chic Cocoons™http://LYShome.com
I understand where you are coming from, but this street is two streets above the high school. If they must put a gate in to stop people from driving like maniacs, then at least give the residents a way to open the gate so we can pass through with ease!
And I agree about my thoughts causing the problem. I have dealt with this for 3-4 years now. But this gate was a total shock and surprise and stopping the flow of traffic is extremely dangerous for the kids, for the drivers and any pedistrians around.
I have done the same with another who has annoyed me to no end. I’ve done a partial job and the irritation is less but I have more work to do in that area. Guess I’m not ready to own up to what I’m seeing yet. LOL!
Hi Julieanne,
What a frustrating situation! I can’t imagine what I’d do in that situation, but I live about a half mile from the nearby high school, so one day I may face it, too. In the meantime, I try to enjoy the music and football cheers most Friday evenings, and the kids littering the sidewalk as they walk to and from the school. Seems to me, though, that your school (which I assume relies on the community’s financial support) would try to mend hard feelings.
Robbie
It is what is. I lived with the chain. The iron gate is jarring to see. But it’s the cars that block traffic that get to me. I will let that go soon too. At least the littering is much reduced.
I can understand the irritation, but something I learned this weekend and am really trying to internalize is that we control our responses to situations. Is this something that can be addressed at a city council or school board meeting? Doubtful any of them live beyond the gate and haven’t really understood the inconvenience to the residents, who no doubt pay the taxes that allowed the school to put it in. The school is trying to cover their bases, but maybe the situation just wasn’t thoroughly thought through (wow, that was tough to type without typos). Things like this is why we chose to not live near the schools, even though it makes it easier when our daughter is old enough (if she attends public). It makes me think of my friend who had someone dart out in front of her car by the high school and then slam his hands on it… when she had the right of way. Scary that she would have been held accountable when it was his fault had she hit him. If that gate is going to keep residents safe and there is no other alternative, then try to view it from the more positive angle.
I get all that. And I’ve accepted the chain gate – this iron gate is jarring to the senses. The kids cross the street in front of cars and walk very leisurely with no thought that they are holding others up. I’ll get over it. I have been accepting of it until that damn iron gate went in. And inconsiderate people are prolific. they seem to breed too! LOL
Well I’m in the midst of my own life irritation with a public school so I am little to ZERO help to you right now Except to maybe say, ” RIGHT ON SISTA!! Fight them, change them!” I have not been wise enough or calm enough to glean my lesson in all of this yet … still fuming and pouting and trying to figure out another way that won’t take MONTHS to get a changed result.
Yvonne Elm Hall
http://www.yvonneelmhall.wordpress.com
At some point, you have to determine if your energy is worth it. I find that changing governments and school districts are like Don Quixote tilting at the windmills. I think I’ll just use my energy elsewhere and let someone else take up the sword. Good luck with your struggle!
I have learned it is the way that the universal power of world consciousness tries to pull me away from my connection to my source, these irritations for me are definitely real but it is up to me to dissolve them through my spiritual practices and when the pull is to strong, well thats my problem in that I have let the world pull me away from the truth. I hope you are able to let these irritations dissolve into the nothingness that they are.
I so get that. I’ve been dealing with items 1-4 and just accepting them. Until I’m in a hurry and then I want to have a James Bond car that I can dissolve the car in front of me and recreate it in the middle of the Sahara desert including the drivers and passengers so I can keep moving. The iron gate is just so jarring to the senses. But that too will resolve to nothingness and I’ll still daydream about the James Bond car for the inconsiderate ( which I realize is a judgment on my part and I have to see what is me that is drawing that to me and maybe where I am inconsiderate to others!)
Julieanne,
In life’s challenge situations I remember to pause, breathe, and not resist. I believe that resisting change is stopping the flow of energy, vital energy that I could choose to direct into a project of my choosing. Good luck with the challenge you are facing, I love that you stop to reflect on what is has to teach you, obstacles are opportunities.
Blessings of health,
chris arcucci
Who says a woman can’t cultivate her super powers in a dress?!
http://www.MindfulLivingArts.com
I do, and I’ll let it go and daydream of the James Bond car to dissolve the inconsiderate. Please read my reply to @KirkZacharda:disqus to understand what I’m saying here! Hope it makes you laugh @chrisarcucci:disqus
This does sound incredibly annoying. It would drive me nuts too. My husband was so irritated by the sound of the trains constantly blowing theirs whistles behind our house, that we eventually moved. Now, he gets mad at all the dogs barking in the neighborhood. He’s very sound sensitive. He probably attracts it to himself because he thinks about how annoying the sounds are. Some of this stuff is just the price we pay to live in society. I think my husband wants to move to the mountains and become a recluse. I like having a community and friends nearby. We’ll see what happens, I saw him looking at houses online yesterday.
OH boy! Another move? We have lots of dogs barking in the neighborhood. I love dogs and I don’t blame the dogs – I believe the owner is responsible. Most dogs bark to protect. Dogs are very social and need companionship. Sounds are in our world. YOu have to go with the flow or be upset all the time. I had a house with a train track behind it. I loved the sound of it when it ran. It wasn’t often. I hear the train here because sounds travels up hill. I still love that sound. Must be the romantic in me.
The schools can just come in and install those gates in a community, no questions asked?! Wow. Not cool. I am not sure what the lesson is here, and I usually don’t see the message at first, probably because I am too busy reacting to the outrage, and unable to focus on anything but the stupidity at hand. So, for me, it takes a while..but I finally get it…usually way after the fact! I hope you resolve the gate and driving issues…hoping that someone will understand the negative effect it is having on your neighborhood…and that they help make it a better situation for all!
Rita Brennan Freay
http://www.ritabrennanfreay.com
So far I’ve seen the school react only to their needs. We either block our street or allow it to be used as the Indy 500. I think they should build a bridge over the street so the street can remain open with sound walls to keep it quiet for the school. Read my answer to Kirk’s note to see what I’d do with the cars that stop moving traffic. I’ve wanted a car like that many times in my life here in California! LOL
Well that just sucks! Get some neighbors together and make a stink. It bothers me when school use the “kids are the most important thing” attitude to bulldoze over everyone. It’s true, the safety of the children is priority, but compromise and working together with the community is also key.
This was brought into your life maybe because you’re just the person to do something about this type of thing. 🙂
Lisa Vitale, Momprenuer
http://www.lisawifemom.wordpress.com
If I told you how they got the first street block, you’d really be upset. I’ve let it go. They used a circumstance that had nothing to do with the school other than he was a student at the school and warped it and left out details until they got all the heartstrings plucked and the majority of voters agreed with them. That was a mindblower. And no one wanted to hear the truth.
I’m not sure I’m the one to fight this windmill! LOL! thanks for the thought tho!
Quite and eye sore! Whens your next city cousel meeting? Might be time as was mentioned earlier to rally the neighbors and see what can be done. Its your taxes paying for it.
We need to come up with another solution to the gate first. If we take it down, our street becomes very dangerous because people who detour want to make up for lost time because they have to make the detour. Maybe speed bumps but that’s a pain in the patootie as well! So first a new solution must arise.