Myself, my sister Cindy and my cousin Penny
Everyone needs to stop right now disapproving of the way they look, especially the young people of today. No, you don’t need to look like the models or the photos in the magazines or like the movie stars. Truth? Most of the movie stars don’t look like their own movie star image without the hair, the makeup or the clothes. Maybe a couple do. Just like there are a few common people who look pretty spectacular whether they wear makeup or not.
There was a video on the internet that shows how they make the models look better than they are. The photos we see don’t represent real people at times.
Why do I say this? I had a major ah ha moment the other day. I was scanning in faded pictures. Once I got some color back in and I looked at them closely, I saw myself as a young woman. I was stunned by what I saw. I saw a gorgeous looking woman who had a lovely figure. I had spent my entire youth and most of my adult hating my face, my body. I felt ugly and I felt fat. And no one, no one could convince me otherwise.
I know why I felt that way. It doesn’t matter now. I know it came from my family and I bought it. The words parents use with their children are so very important. I never believed anyone when they said I was pretty or beautiful. I distrusted their motives for saying it. I was not taught to appreciate who and what I was. I was taught I wasn’t good enough. I know my sister and my cousin who are in the picture with me felt the same way, too. My sister didn’t even believe that was her in the picture.
I have spent years overcoming that. I cried the other night for the time I hated who and what I was. I cried the other night for all the times I hated what I saw when I looked in the mirror. I cried the other night for not appreciating how beautiful I was back then. I cried the other night for things I couldn’t go back and change. And I let it go.
Know one thing. You are perfect just as you are. You don’t need to compare yourself with anyone. You don’t need to do anything to change how you look. You don’t need to compare yourself to what the TV shows, movie or the ad companies show as the epitome of beauty is. It’s all fake. We are all beautiful in our own unique way. There is no one you need to emulate.
The best thing you need to do is to be yourself, your glorious self. Be the best you that you can be! And no one can do you better than you. No one can bring to the world what you can bring to the world.
In what areas have you not accepted yourself? What do you criticize about yourself? Where can you learn to love and accept yourself ?
Thank you, Julieanne, for sharing this. What a realization and amazing perspective looking back. Hugs beautiful.
Thank you for reading it. And for commenting.
Thanks Julieanne! This is a beautiful post.
Julieanne, I have to agree with Carol. This is a beautiful post. Thank you.
Oh Julieanne what a wonderful post! Brought tears to my eyes! And you 3 are all lovely and gorgeous in this photo – is that you in the black and white cut-out dress? Thank-you for sharing this I hope many a young lovely lady reads this and realises how special they are right now!!
Yes, that is me on the left. I guess I didn’t do the color very well after all. It is a dark navy blue and white. My sister is in the middle. She didn’t believe it was her until my niece expanded the picture for her to get a closer look. It’s time to stop accepting what we are told by others how we fall short. And it’s true for men as well but far worse for women. Thank you for your comment. I teared up reading your comment as well.
This is just beautiful! I am so glad you got to go through that healing cleanse the other night…how powerful! I agree, that there is so much pressure on how we look and what others think of us, especially for the youth. We need to teach our children this lesson!
I agree. We need to teach kids to value their uniqueness, their individuality. Each person needs to love, accept and cherish their uniqueness. No one else can be them but them. And that is a major gift to all.
Well said. I look back and wonder, too why I spent so much time criticizing things about myself that were perfectly OK. Seems I needed the advantage of years to see clearly. I hope today’s teens and young woman get the message faster. Thank you for sharing it.
For each generation, there was some epitome of so called beauty held up for all to emulate. I have Italian heritage and I got the bigger thighs during a time when Twiggy was held up to be what all were to aspire to be. There is no way on this earth I could ever become a twig! Not with my bones, not with my muscle system. When I hear a child beating themselves up over anything, I tell them something that gives them another way to look at it. Anything to stop the verbal berating. No one denigrates a tree for being different or unique. Why do we humans try to be identical when our biggest gift to the world is our own uniqueness.
Similar situation here! Imagine having coily hair, a “button” nose, lips and curves in the 1970s! The teen magazines pushed straight hair and noses, “how to make your lips look thinner,” flat bottoms, and thin thighs. It was clear that the culture’s standard of beauty would never apply to me as a Black female, though; so I ignored most of that stuff. But my best friends were taller and slender; so I felt fat!
I have to say that over the past 2 years or so where i have experienced moon face, loss of hair, no bras, no makeup and letting go of all my jewelllery i used to wear, etc I have been much more accepting of me just as I am. I know that I can look in the mirror and say I love you Suzie and it bring a sile to my heart and I can feel the inner namaste- thanks for a great post♡
Thank you for sharing and commenting. It seems to affect us at all ages. The media continues to sell we are not enough, we don’t smell right, we don’t look right, no one will love us unless we wear these shoes, boots, handbags, clothes, etc. And you can’t go back and redo things either. Enjoy each and every moment as you are! That’s the main key. The other main key is to only listen to your acceptance of yourself. Others only have opinions. By the way, what is a moon face? That’s a new term to me.
Love, love, love this post Julieanne as I had a similar reaction the other day when I posted a pic of myself for throwback Thursday. Now I consciously work on loving me as I am. I speak lovingly to my body and compliment it rather than criticizing. It helps!
Yes, I am realizing that beauty is everywhere. If we drop the society’s “standards” of what beauty is. I remember meeting both men and women who we okay looking, nothing special and the more I got to know them, the more handsome and beautiful they became. Beauty truly comes from inside. I’m glad this post has touched people. It sure affected me.
Julianne: Right on! Accepting and loving yourself is the first step, and a firm foundation upon which we can make any positive shifts we want…
Yes, but we also need to educate our kids, nieces, nephews and grandkids to teach them to value the soul, the heart of someone and not what they look like. It starts with us.
What I wonder is: why is this non-acceptance such a problem for women? Men just don’t seem to do the “I just need to lose 10 lbs to be perfect” dance that we women do each day.
Because the marketing companies know that the dollars are spent by women. Make them feel less than they are and they spend the money. The men buy into the marketing wanting that hot, sexy, gorgeous chick with legs that don’t end and eyes that are agagaga (notice how close that is to gagging!) at them and they spend the money on buying their wives and girlfriends the things that will make them look like the models who starve themselves on veggies to be the epitome of a beauty that wall street builds. Men get sold the gym memberships and car crap. but not so much the beauty, the clothes, the styles. Do you think you hit a nerve here? LOL. Those are my thoughts on it. And unfortunately, we buy into this crap and spend the damn money thus feeding the vicious circle.
Glad that you are present now to enjoy what is.
Thank you.
That was really moving Julieanne, I also look back at photo’s at various times of my life and think how lovely I was but remember how I never appreciated it most of the time, and was always hell bent on being better in every way – subtlely guided by my inner sense of being ‘perfect’ in a visual sense. It’s not an easy thing to leave behind, and now, getting older, I still compare to myself of the past and find lacking – but I’m working on it … and I love your words
“The best thing you need to do is to be yourself, your glorious self. Be the best you that you can be! And no one can do you better than you. No one can bring to the world what you can bring to the world.”
thank you for this ‘from the heart’ post 🙂
Jacs
You touched my heart and gave me goosebumps with your comments. Thank you. We all need to help each other so that. Let’s remind each other of how incredible we each are in our own inimitable way. xoxoxo
True Julieanne, by sharing our thoughts we can remind each other <3
I so relate to this, Julieanne. I came from a fat-phobic family (really my mother) and grew up with severe body issues. Always was uncomfortable and thought I was too fat. I’ve had the same experience looking at old photos and wishing I could have appreciated natural beauty. Yes, I was in fact a fat child, but I had no ability to see my body changing at different times in my life or appreciate a healthy, vibrant body even if it wasn’t model skinny. I do believe there’s a slight improvement now, with various campaigns to support girls in healthy body image and valuing health.
Yes, we are so dictated to by family, school mates, the ad industry. Twiggy was the big deal when I was growing up. We just can’t accept that our parents could be wrong too, so no matter who said differently, it was never believed. And we also see what we expect. I was called pleasingly plump when I was young. Had some excess pounds, nothing severe. I so get how you don’t see the changes. I also see that we do look in the mirror expecting to disapprove of what we see. We need to reprogram our expectations too. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Julieanne, I can totally relate. I went through the same kind of thought process recently when I saw pictures of a younger me. I was shocked because, as you say, at the time I thought I was fat. I see now I never was, relatively speaking, and I wonder where I got the idea that I was. I also felt sad for not being able to appreciate the me I was then. The lesson for me that day was to appreciate me now 🙂 Thanks for telling your story.
Shulamit, I’m replying so late! Wow. I must not have gotten a notice. Thank you for commenting. Amazing how many of us have all experienced this. Hugs to your beautiful self!